This article was written by Fareshtah in 2025. It is published with her consent under the special coverage that tells the stories of young women and girls from Afghanistan following the Taliban takeover in August 2021.

I am well familiar with the term “war between the Taliban and the government” because I have witnessed the trade-offs and conflicts between the two sides since my childhood. Our fate has always fluctuated because of their actions and decisions.

I was born in the last year of the first Taliban regime (1996–2001) in Afghanistan’s central Ghor Province. Fortunately, I had gained the right to education after the fall of the first regime. I still remember the excitement of my first day at school, donning a black uniform and white scarf. It was a special feeling!

I had not yet entered the university when we heard news of the peace talks between the U.S. and Taliban in February 2020, and we had hoped for peace and a better future.

Finally, after passing the entrance exam, I entered the university. The years 2020 and 2021 were among the most accomplished years of my life, because I had found my path and was on the verge of achieving all my goals.

I was studying Sharia and Islamic Sciences and wanted to become a successful attorney, so I registered for the two-year legal skills program through the Asia Foundation and the Ministry of Higher Education.

At the same time, the war between the Taliban and government forces was intensifying. The security situation was worsening, and because of the extreme heat waves, the university and the legal skills classes were held both in person and online.

I saw news of the collapse of the provinces one after another, but I was still thinking about my goals and pursuing them. On August 13, 2021, the war had reached the gates of our home city of Herat. The next day, I was trying to connect to my online class in my room when my brother opened the door and said, “Put it down, it’s over.”

The end of dreams

With the fall of Herat, there was no exam, no presentation, and no news of the class or its continuation. All my hopes suddenly evaporated before my eyes, as if I had been in a very sweet dream and someone had woken me up with a heavy blow.

Such a heavy blow that it took away my power of speech and tears. I felt that my soul had been separated from my body, and all that was left was a lifeless body.

My heart burned with the desire to continue university and the legal skills class, but with complete despair, I could do nothing but cry.

After a few months, private universities opened, but there was no news of public universities opening. Six months later, public universities finally opened. I studied intensively for the last three semesters and finished my thesis. I was supposed to defend my thesis on a Saturday (December 24) and attend my batch’s graduation ceremony on the Monday (December 26).

However, on Tuesday, December 20, 2022, a decree was issued prohibiting girls from attending universities.

I contacted my professor, and he said, “Come on, defend your thesis because you’ve graduated.”

On Saturday morning, I left for the university, happy that I had been given the right to defend my thesis, yet also sad that so many other girls had dropped out.

When I arrived at the university gate, a Taliban member blocked the gate and refused to let me out of the rickshaw, which I had taken to get there.

Finally, I got down and hurried toward the university gate, but he stood in front of me with the gun.

I ignored him and approached the gate. He grabbed the strap of my laptop bag, pulled it, and said violently: “You don't understand what I’m talking about?! Or should I blow your brains out?!”

He fired a shot in the air, and a strange and unpleasant ringing filled my ears.

A bystander came toward me and said, “Sister, please go.” He was one of the university guards I knew. I left and went to the Shame Danesh Publishing House. As soon as I entered, my anger exploded, and tears flew down my face. The tears in my eyes had become like a sea that could not be dried.

I no longer cared whether people saw me crying as I left that place. I was walking home in tears when I heard my cell phone ring.

It was my father, and he asked: “Have you finished your defense, and how was it?” Crying, and in one breath, I told him the story. He comforted me, told me about the hardships and tortures he had endured, and advised me to be patient and persevere.

From one set of goals to another

I got home, slept a little, then started searching for online courses and educational opportunities, but since I couldn’t find a suitable opportunity, I started reading books.

I participated in a women’s reading group twice a week. We read different books, but this time I really needed a motivational and psychological book.

I visited the group and saw the name of the book, “Wuthering Heights.” Reading it gave me the motivation to start again and helped me renew myself. Nearly a year after finishing my bachelor’s degree, I managed to defend my thesis online.

But I had no more enthusiasm, because my goals had completely deviated from their original path. I had to set new goals. I started studying, researching, and participating in online programs.

I started my computer and English courses online, but after a few months, they were canceled again due to Taliban restrictions, and there has been no news of them since.

A decree was issued allowing girls to attend educational courses, and I also registered for an in-person course, but they quickly reneged on the promise and banned it again.

Over the last three years, I have participated in various online programs, trainings, and conferences because my dream job is not available to me at the moment.

I realized that the root of all these problems is a lack of awareness. I have been teaching in online schools for girls who have been deprived of education for almost two years, and I have also started teaching Islamic culture courses at the university.

I want to fight ignorance and injustice in my own way. Whether it is by transferring my little knowledge by reading a line from a book, or writing, or even tying a root to hope and growing its withered buds in my heart and that of my fellow human beings.

I hope for a better tomorrow and a bright future for my country. Our generation that suffered this injustice and ignorance will never give birth to a child who will surrender to the oppressor and the ignorant. They will not allow a third repetition in history with such a bitter experience.